Please Don't Leave Grandad
by Amber French Chambers
Summary: My first EastEnders fanfic A David and Carol story. After Pats death David returns but will things be any different this time? Will he actually keep his promise to his mum and stay or will something happen to keep him there? And what will happen with Darek?
1. Chapter 1

**David**

I never thought I would end up back here again; back where it all started. It feels as if no time has passed at all, but at the same time so many things have changed beyond my recognition, it's scary. Don't get me wrong the place itself looks the same as it always did, same old, slightly worn houses, same old streets, as if it's been stuck in a time warp all these years. I think there is something quite comforting in that. I didn't want to back never in a million years; to many dark and depressing memories of the mixed up kid I used to be. As soon as I walked up to that peeling green door; behind which I grew up, I felt as if I had come home and this time I was damned if I was going to run away again. The time I spent waiting behind that door felt endless. By the time my daughter, who I hadn't seen for a long time, answered the door, she had aged way beyond her years. Bianca looked tired and gaunt, as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. As soon as she saw me, she flung her arms around me and sobbed into my chest. Just like that she was my little girl again.

'Sshhh it's okay. Everything's going to be okay. I'm back now and I'm not going anywhere. I promise darling'

'I'm so sorry dad, so sorry...'

With that she burst into tears again, loud heart retching sobs so painful I thought my heart would burst. It reminded just how much of her life I had missed and I was overwhelmed by an emotion which I had felt many a time before, but it wasn't until this moment I understood what it was. Guilt had the power to eat you up and spit you back out again. I suppose that is the reason why I have been running all my life, because of the guilt. When Bianca looked up at me next, her eyes red and puffy, she spoke so softly I almost didn't catch her next words, either that or I didn't want to believe what she was saying.

'I'm so sorry Dad, you're too late Pat passed away just a few minutes ago'.

The look on my face must have worried Bea because she was instantly at my side, her arm around my back and was guiding me into the house. All I heard though my grief created haze was Bea's voice '_Come on Dad; let's get in the house, eh?_'


	2. Chapter 2 Bianca

**Bianca **

Dad had been very quiet since we had told him the news. We all begged him to go up and see Pat, pay his last respects and everything; he refused saying that it was already too late to put anything right, whether he had got here in time or not. Too much had happened he said. Thinking back on the rare occasions I have seen my Dad, he has never really spoken about what happened in the past and looking at him now so tired and stressed, I knew he wasn't about to shed any light on the subject. Not yet anyway.

Just then Tiff comes out of the kitchen and I am shocked to see that she is carrying two hot mugs of coffee in her hands.

She hands one to me and I realise her eyes are red and puffy. She has been crying, my heart breaks when I see the pain that covers her face, like a shroud. None of the kids have ever lost someone as close to them as Pat was I now remember, and I hug Tiff tightly to me as silent tears start to roll down her cheeks. Even though she is my second youngest and my mirror image, I sometimes think she is the only one of my children with her head screwed on right. Oh don't get me wrong, Whit and Liam are helpful, but a bit naive at times, whereas Tiff already knows what she wants to do after she leaves school.

'Nana Carol looks so sad, when will we all smile again? '

'Well we are all sad aren't we? Nana Pat was a big part of all our lives, wasn't she? As for the pain, it may never be gone completely gone, but it will lessen over time, I promise. Oh come here. Everything will be okay'.

As the sound of Tiff's heartbreaking sobs become louder I vaguely register the sound of the living door open and close, before hearing Dad's voice directly behind me. I jump with the shock at hearing it; it was the first time I had actually listened and heard it in twenty years.

'Bea, is she okay? '

I stare at him slightly disbelieving 'Yeah she will be fine, won't you darling?' I feel Tiff nod her head in agreement beside me.

I bend down and cup the back of her shoulders and begin to steer her back in the direction of the kitchen 'Why don't you go and check on Whit and Liam for me?'

'Why Mum? They are both old enough to look after themselves.'

I roll my eyes at my youngest daughter, slightly annoyed at the attitude she was showing, it wasn't like her, then I slapped myself mentally at that thought reminded that grief can affect people in so many different ways and maybe I was being a bit hard on her' Because I said so Missy, and plus your Nana Carol could do with a hug and we all know you are the best at giving hugs in this family, now go on, I will be right behind you' I pull her into a embrace and kiss her forehead, before releasing her from my grip 'I love you'

As Tiff heads in the direction of the kitchen, I smile curiously at Dad until I hear the soft click of the door as it closes behind her. As soon as we are alone Dad starts to laugh and a smile immediately breaks out across my face.

'What are you laughing at?'

'Nothing darling, she just reminds me so much of someone I used to know, that's all'

'That person you used to know is still here you know, she's just a bit older and wiser that's all, and as far as Tiff goes she thinks she is nine going on nineteen, honestly she is so cheeky sometimes-'

That is the first time I see the ever so slight trace of a smile cross my Dad's face, since he got here, but when I look again it is gone, as quickly as it appeared and I begin to think I had imagined it – amost as if it was never really there.

'Bea there is so much we need to discuss-'

'I know that Dad, but now is not the right time, this is Pat's time and it should be about her, not us. Anyway she is only upstairs, why haven't you been up to see her yet? She just looks as if she's asleep, she is at peace now'.

When I looked back up at Dad's face I realize his eyes are overly bright and when he next speaks his voice sounds muffled and slightly choked up.

'Bea, the last time I saw mum we didn't part on the best of terms... I can't forgive myself... I can't help thinking she wouldn't want to see me... I let her down in so many ways... I thought one day I could put it all right, ask for her forgiveness... but now that will never be possible '.

Looking at Dad then, I truly saw all the years of pain and hurt that he had been carrying on his shoulders, and it made him look old beyond his years. Without a word I held out my hand to him, which he took and we silently went upstairs to say our final farewell...


	3. Chapter 3 Carol

**Carol **

It was only after I heard two pairs of soft footfalls going upstairs that I stopped frantically trying to clean the already pristine dining table and took a deep breath in and slowly opened the kitchen door and went down the strangely silent hallway, towards the closed living room door. This was it, it was now or never. I opened the door softly, only to see four pairs of expectant eyes staring back at me, all of them familiar, but none of them belonging to the person who I had expected or wanted to see.

Tiff, Morgan, Liam and Whit were all looking warm and cosy, the Christmas lights and decorations adding to the homely atmosphere, while bathing everything in a nice golden hue. If only we could all stay suspended in this moment forever. But all good things must come to an end; something I had learnt too early on in life. The dream I was desperately trying to lose myself in, quickly faded when Whit's voice broke into my thoughts, shattering my fantasy, pulling me roughly back into reality.

'Carol is everything okay? Is Pat okay? You look like you have seen a ghost'

At the mention of Pat's name fresh tears spring to my eyes and it is not until Whit comes to put her arms around me that I realise those tears have started to fall down my cheeks and it is all I can do not to crumple into a heap on the floor, I had completely forgotten that the kids hadn't known. But I couldn't tell them not on my own – I needed _someone_ there to _help_ me. The next thing I remember seeing was a streak of flame red as Tiff ran straight past us and bolted up the stairs. I faintly heard the bathroom door closing and a few minutes later the chain being pulled to be followed almost instantaneously by the sound of the flush.

'Carol it's happened, hasn't it? Tiff has probably been sick again, that will be the third time this week, and we need to talk to Bianca about taking her to see a Doctor, it just isn't right.'

The sound of Whit's voice brings me back the present with a jolt 'Y-yes it has she's gone I'm so s-sorry'.

'Nana Carol what's wrong? ' I looked down to see Morgan who had made his way over to me and had wrapped his arms around my legs, in an effort to try and comfort me. I knew it was now or never... Just as I was about to tell Morgan about Pat, the door was pushed open to reveal Bianca, Tiff and David Wicks, Pat's eldest son, a person I never thought I would see again and the one and only true love of my life. As soon as I saw him again I felt as if I was falling in love all over again

Morgan's voice cuts through my trip down memory lane 'Nana Carol, who is this strange man?' Is Nana Pat asleep now, Mummy?

Before I have even considered his question, Bianca answered for me 'This is my Daddy, David, he's your Grandad and -'.

I watched as silent tears started to roll down my daughters cheeks, fighting the urge to walk over, wrap my arms around her and hold her close. I knew that she would come to me when she was ready. I watched as David put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and gently led her backwards into the safe haven of Ricky's waiting arms.

I watched as David knelt down opposite Morgan and took his hand in his 'Well your Nana Pat, she was very ill... and well she... she-'

'He means Nana Pat's DEAD!'

I turned shocked at the pain and hurt in Tiff's voice, having forgotten that she was stood there. But she had gone; the door was open, letting in all the wet and rain. Rushing to it I just stood there, watching as the barely visible figure of Tiff disappeared against the shadows of the pounding wind and rain...


	4. Chapter 4 Tiffany

**Tiffany**

I was still stood in the doorway to the living room; it felt like no-one had even noticed me. I looked on as this bloke who was supposed to be our long lost 'Grandad' try, not very successfully to tell my little brother that Nana Pat had died. After about two seconds of watching him struggle, I just couldn't take it anymore and I blurted out the fact without thinking about the after-effects of what I was saying; on not only me, but also on the rest of my family. I don't know what made me say it, I just lost it I suppose. I love how grownups think that just because we are young, we need to be spoken to in simple terms, like we are still children, but we are not, I knew what was going on. I wasn't stupid, no matter what people thought about our family.

I didn't even think about what I did next, in fact I didn't think about anything much. The next thing I remember I was sat, soaked through to the skin, on the old, rusty swing set on the playground at the other end of the Square, the sound of my heart breaking sobs, swallowed up by the storm raging all around me.

I was so distracted by all of my own thoughts, I didn't notice when my so called 'Grandad' came up to me through the mist and fog, and scared me so much I almost screamed. That was until he stepped out from the shadows, and I realised who it was. He put his hand up in a way that showed me no harm.

'Tiffany, Tiff... Listen I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, can I sit down.'

He indicated towards the empty swing that was gently swaying in the wind beside. He took the non-committal shrug I gave him as an invitation to sit down. For a few minutes we just sat there in a comfortable silence until the sounds of the rain were just a little pitter patter barely audible now.

'God, you're soaked! Your Mum and Nana Carol will kill me if I let you go back to the house looking like that here, take this?' He draped his equally sodden suit jacket over me in an effort to stop the ever so slight shivering.

'Mum tells me to do a lot of things, one of those is not to talk to strangers in the dark' I said giving him a bit of my attitude, which caused him to laugh, making his eyes light up, even through the gloom.

After a few moments of nonstop laughter on his part, I decided to give him my best peed off look, a look I learnt and then perfected from my mum, which caused even harder laughter.

'What's so funny?'

'You just remind me so much of your mum that's all, you are the spitting image of her, when she was your age. It's like looking in a mirror.'

Just as I was about to reply, we saw blue flashing lights approach our house. I turned to Grandad and asked him whether they had come to take away Nana Pat.

'I think so sweetheart, come on let's go, give you a chance to say goodbye'.

With that he put his arms around me and led me back towards the house. I thought it was going to take me a while to get used to having a Grandad around, but I was sure I would be able to twist him around my little finger eventually. At the end of the day I had learnt very early on in my short life that most adults (except for maybe Auntie Janine, to be honest I don't know why she was even considering keeping her baby. I would feel sorry for any child born to her) couldn't resist a cute kid, maybe it was going to be fun having a Grandad around after all...

If only I had known then what I know now, I wouldn't have made so many evil jokes about him.


End file.
